Raw LLM Responses

I still remember the first time I didn’t doodle to doodle, but wanted to draw a character due to an idea that struck my head, that I needed to get down so I could cherish and foster it, that I wanted to draw them and get better at it. Was it good? Certainly not. Nearly two decades later, I might not still consider myself good. I have good understanding of shape, I have a great understanding of structure, and yet I still often feel like my mind doesn’t let me loosen the reins of structure enough to create characters in a way that I’m satisfied with, at least by hand. But I didn’t turn to AI art. I turned to an art style that worked well with structure and rules, pixel art. And I might not be drawing characters the way they are in my head, but I’m able to take my ideas and put them to a visual medium, and I’m proud of the outcome even if I’m a perfectionist. Even the shittiest piece of art that I’ve ever made, I can say for sure that I controlled every pencil stroke pouring my soul out onto paper. I know exactly what ideas I decided to express something a specific way, even if it didn’t work. The artwork might not be praise worthy in the sense that I wouldn’t want to commission an artist at my skill level, but I can say very happily that the art that I’ve made is mine, it never fought me, it never was made arbitrarily. Everything I learned was my own mental connection, studying other artists, watching how their own pens created the shapes they wanted, reverse engineering art I loved and seeing if I could work their style with my own. I don’t have time for art anymore, and it’s a little sad, but I don’t think that even the art that I’ve made, that I know isn’t up to my own standards, is bad in any respect. It’s mine. It’s the time I spent on a character, it’s an emotion I was working through. It’s blood sweat and tears. This is a part of the natural process for all artists. Maybe in another decade, maybe I’ll be proud enough to showcase my work. But even if not, what matters is that I felt in tune with the characters I designed, the stories I was crafting. For a brief moment, the stories I wanted to tell were realized and given true form by nobody’s hand but my own. I’ve tried AI art. Not because I agreed with it ethically, but because I was truly curious about its application as a tool. And yet I often found the same issue. I want something to look a certain way, but the AI simply cannot handle it. It thinks it understands structure, it thinks it understands shape, form, what looks good. But the truth is, it doesn’t even understand that. I’d much rather poorly draw a character that looks the way I want them to than fight a machine for the same amount of time just to get something that’s close to the thing I wanted to make in the first place. AI struggled with every new detail you want to add. You want to design a very specific kind of fashion choice for your character? Well too bad. It might listen to one or two choices of yours, but a dozen, and suddenly it’s struggling. One of the first characters I ever designed was a mage, wearing a cloak. And yet, who would have thought that a simple design choice would have so many details to consider! A mantle? A hood? How is that hood stitched? It changed how the fabric sits on the head. How is the cloak fastened? Frogs? Buckled? A brooch? A sash? Does it have a trim? If I want to make a character, I have the idea in my head that I want to get out. I could never be satisfied with JUST a cloak, because all the decisions of the kind of cloak they wear gives insight into who the character is, how meticulous they are or aren’t, how they carry themselves. If I decide I want a character to have a detail, it’s usually because it’s important that the character’s design communicates these things about them. And with an AI… that cloak might not even have stitching. It doesn’t feel like it has form or function. It doesn’t have the trim with the ceremonial iconography I wanted, or the right material to sash it closed. The metal brooch has an ever changing design that doesn’t really fit with reality. What does that communicate to the person looking at it except… that the person who allowed it to be made didn’t care about those details? It’s laughable to me, the idea that someone thinks their art is important enough to be not just shared, but applauded, when it’s made this way. Why would I ever care about a character you designed that you saw what came out of the prompt and you really thought “that’s good enough to publish” when it just proves you cared less about the design elements than someone like me who wouldn’t even dare share their art because it’s not a level they like yet? Every half rate, no tablet sensitivity, scanned image colored over, wouldn’t look out of place in the trash bin of deviantart artist who tried their damnedest and failed and published it anyway has ten times the respect from someone like me than any AI artist ever will. Because they can show exactly how much pride they have in their work. How much went into making what they did, even if it doesn’t look perfect or even if it doesn’t look good, it will always, always, always display all of those choices that they made far better than the best AI artist. Every artist started bad. Many still are. But those who are bad at art and still go for it? I can’t imagine they are somehow less happy for it. Every failure brings with it a new thing to learn. Every new detail the same thing. There is no talent in failing and starting again but better. That’s pure grit and gusto. That’s pain that didn’t leave you but didn’t make you quit. It’s scrap paper filled with sketch strokes on how to draw a detail that never even made it to the final design. There’s no talent there, only persistence.